How many of you as parents worry about your child’s safety on internet? or your daughter’s school night-out ? or about your child’s correct way of painting or drawing, while he/she is working at it? We are living in 21st century and its high time now that we understood the value of making subconscious efforts to programming our minds to view things differently.We as humans are capable of doing that anytime.As I read a remarkable quote by Dr.Wayne.W.Dyer-“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” It just takes a shift in perception and a lot then seems to be newer than before.Today is a world of globalization, digital revolution seems to have made its place into our lives.The way our parents did parenting is much different from what we implement as parenting .But yet with many parents its not so.They tend to somehow carry the traditional parenting styles in someway and implement it on their children even today in ever-changing competitive and technology oriented environment.
We as kids did not have many options or choices to make. For example, if we wanted a chocolate we would go to store and have few options like dairy milk bar, gems,or maybe few orange candies,even with that available few choices we were not so free to choose unless our parents were happy with us having made the decision freely.They cared for us in their own ways .Today if you take a child to a store you can hardly speak and interfere with their choices.They want what they want or else they do not want it at all.so what do you do? you let them have their own way.That is what generally happens eventually.Children these days have their own opinions about every other topic and they feel free to speak up and express themselves.This is not an era when it would be feasible to teach kids what freedom is not .You have to let them know, feel and understand what freedom is and learn the value of it.You have to create an environment which allows them to develop positive attributes while enjoying the freedom and at the same time reflect on the understanding of what is going on and why.Be your own Mentor.Never stop educating yourself!
While there are number of things to consider but here I Would like to focus on 2 major points out of few, which I think creates an impact on personality development of the child and which i think every parent should continue learning about it, as there is always more to it, till lifetime.
The first hand-held cell phone was demonstrated in 1973, and in 1983, the first mobile was available commercially . From 1983 to 2014, worldwide mobile phone subscriptions grew from zero to over 7 billion.(source:Wikipedia)Thanks to the recent generation kids for this growth!😉
I remember in earlier times of my schooling the phone was just used to make calls that too when required, the leisure time was spent by drawing, or playing with dolls, or reading, etc,. Today when i observe my niece who is in grade 1 another in grade 5 , and many other kids in school in different grades, generally as i see, they spend almost entire day into mobile phones playing games not 1 or 2 but many and also they know how to download different apps for different things, kids are so smart these days hence i have to learn how to play from them.Its amazing to see how these tiny-tots can explain the digital games in no time. Internet has moreover convinced them that the world is too small.So what you know about technology and the relevant concerns , these points do matter! if you do not know more than enough about it or even know it vaguely, it will be a factor which can immensely impact on your parenting efforts and may not give you the right window into looking at your kids progress or where they are heading to.Keeping yourself updated with the techno -world is essential.Today the generation gap is much larger than what we had as the same, then. Tip: In your free time try to learn about educational apps and various educational gadgets in the market and their purpose ,While you can not always be there to guard them from dangers but you can prepare them to be responsible for their actions by teaching them about digital footprints and otherwise as letting them realize that they are answerable to someone for their actions at one time or another , which can be enough as a guard to protect them from taking wrong steps ahead.
You all must have already read somewhere about different styles of parenting.Not dwelling into specific styles I would say in a broader sense, much to what parenting depends on is your perception about the same.Our perception of parenting can be linked back to how we were taken care of by our parents.Not that traditional parenting which we experienced then was bad or negative but its like you no longer will be using the old phone with no memory chip or big screen which lets you know more details about missed calls and would save your time, rather you will indeed prefer a mobile phone with advanced features not only because its cool but because its even necessary considering the fast paced life.A shift in perception is the requirement to not only survive but to live.In today’s era, just knowing things doesn’t matter enough, you have internet for that, Kids are exposed to pool of information on net, hence kids need to be encouraged to do more of creativity, problem-solving tasks, must be working on their communication skills and emotions management.The focus of parenting should be not on what are you teaching but how are you teaching.For this it is very essential to make sure that the child is not just a learner for school grades but for life.Frequent collaboration between school and parents may help in this.
Every child is different , how many times have we heard this but barely paid attention to it. It actually means that the parenting style too must differ from one another, be planned,according to every child with every parents in order to see the success as a result, more or less equally across the world.This can happen only if every parent understands it and learns about it like they do before joining their company, by learning about their company’s history and how it works, to work effectively in future and have the job going on for themselves.
Parents are the first point of contact for children in this world. so their perception of self depends on how you react to them .So it is very important to take care of how you are reacting by saying what.That will impact a child’s self perception and will stay for a long time in future as self image.So if for example you think any task finished is not good if its not perfect then your child might well be not satisfied with himself/herself until they reach up to perfection .Eventually in this process of reaching up to the mark they will end up ignoring their true potential and achieving the confidence level that they need in order to be successful in life.
Likewise, Parents of teenagers need to learn about the brain and behavior of a teenager.The often changing behavior patterns you see in your teen kid is not what they do to intentionally irritate you but because its the way their brain is progressing towards development.Remember, it is in its developing stage and not developed completely enough.Tip: To get the idea of what your parenting style should be, try to invest some more time in observing your child and stick to positive affirmations rather than picking up their negative points to improve.This will only waste most of your parenting time .You can rather point over their positive traits and praise them for it. This will give them enthusiasm to do more better in future.Read about and try implementing, punishment and reinforcement principles, behavior modification.(Psychology)
In a nutshell:
While I can talk about this for hours but my purpose of this post is to give you a window into reflecting over your parenting tactics, and for grabbing up the main idea of today’s parenting that is…. bringing up the change in our perception will only help us to lessen the generation gap in 21st century and help in enjoying the journey of development by being with them in the form of their thinking and their responsible actions and not by standing beside them always to unknowingly hide what they are capable of and become lesser anxious parents to enjoy parenting as blessing!
- Learn about different stages of development(child psychology) .This will help you in knowing the reason why your child behaves the way he/she does.Therefore, leading you to some clues to form your parenting plan effectively.what works for “X “family need not necessarily work for” Y “family. Hence continue educating yourself.
- Stay updated with technology for kids according to the age group, so that you know what your child is doing and what he/she is up to.
- While parenting can be the toughest job but in anyway do not let the work stress or any stress be transferred to your child in any form.Be very careful with your reactions.This can impact on a child in various ways negatively.
- Most importantly, as I read somewhere, ” Don’t become so concerned with raising a good child that you forget you already have one! “
Lastly, the preconceived notions that we unfortunately hold of the word GOOD, well, no wonder why and when our various efforts too do not seem to succeed.Acknowledge your child’s efforts even if it is just better.
However, Just before I conclude here is something i would like to share with you all, just when you are thinking that even best efforts as parents are not working enough…